Folksy Ltd

My Daughter is leaving home :(

(Kirstie Perry) #1

My eldest Daughter is leaving home today to make her first home with her boyfriend of five years. I have known that this day was arriving for a while now, but now it’s here I am not sure how I feel.
Part of me is glad that there will be a lot less mess to clear up, slightly less washing to do and not quite so much noise around the house with only two children in it. The other, bigger part of me wants to kidnap her and lock her in the house so she can’t leave! She is only moving a few villages away, and I know she will still spend a lot of time with us, as she is so close to all of us, but it won’t be the same as having her living at home.
Her sister will be applying to go to University next September so it won’t be long before its just me, my partner and my seven year old son at home most of the time, which will be strange as our house is usually so full and busy!
I’m feeling a little sad today.
How did everyone else cope with there children flying the nest? x

(Louise Grace Jewellery) #2

I cant begin to imagine how hard it is for you, my daughters are only 8 and 9 but when they hit their teens I am considering possibly locking them up since I’ve failed at convincing them that the next birthday after 9 is 8 and they age backwards so they never reach double figures.

I hope you find some comfort in seeing your girls blossoming into wonderful young women as they take those next steps in life


(Liz Lothian ) #3

Hi, it is strange when they’re not at home. My daughter was in Spain for 6 months working this year. It took a lot of getting used to. Next week she’s off to start at uni, but will only be about 35 miles away. After Spain that will be just fine. It will be very quiet once she’s moved. And I’ll miss her like mad. Liz

(Roz) #4

Feeling for you. My eldest is off to Africa for 2 weeks on Sunday and on her return is off to Uni. I have a feeling that she will not be back to live, although I hope she will still visit. Its hard to let them go but nice to see them growing up and experiencing life. :slight_smile: I still have my youngest at home for 2 more years at least, don’t think she will be quite so keen on moving out when the time comes - she’s a bit more of a home bird.

(Diane Keeble) #5

I think mixed emotions are very normal. I have a daughter who is already at uni and a son who is about to start and a son who is 14 at home. At the moment they are all at home and there is stuff everywhere and a mountain of washing. I am quite apprehensive about only having one of them left but there are upsides too. I think as Mums we reach a stage when we have to constantly readjust. I hope it works out well for her and the rest of your family x

(Diane Burton) #6

I know how you feel, my daughter has just finished her 2nd year at Uni (1 more to go) and when she first left the house seemed not empty but not as full as it should. However it was a lot quieter as our son had no-one to tease (and no-one teasing him) so there was no bickering. The daftest thing I missed was the ‘girliness’ even though my daughter isn’t a girly girl she enjoyed shopping and we share certain tastes of film/ TV programmes (my son/husband both like Top Gear & Mythbusters which bore me silly)

I’m sure you’ll get used to her not being there and it sounds like she won’t be living too far away to visit often (we live near York and our daughter is in Falmouth so a good 6-8 hours travel away!) and when she is at home it’ll be as if she’s not left (it certainly doesn’t take long for the noise levels and piles of laundry to build up when our daughter comes home)

(Kirstie Perry) #7

Thank you for your lovely comments. I am sure I will get used to it eventually xx

(Yvette ) #8

When my daughter left home when she was 17, i felt so lost, but when my eldest son left it didn’t bother me so much.I suppose because he was always out with his friends he wasn’t home much anyway.I was handy for cooking and washing, where as my daughter didn’t go out as much. But life had a funny turn for me as in my daughter moved back home 3 yrs later (she is still here at 28 yrs old) and my eldest son moved back home, when his landlord sold the house he was living in, but sadly he was only back for a few weeks - he was killed in a car crash, so i was grateful that i had a little extra time with him.

(Sewgluey) #9

This must be a difficult time for you but please don’t be sad! I left for uni a year ago and missed my mum so so much when I first left. But lots of Skype sessions and visits made it feel very normal and soon I missed her a little less. It also gave me a chance to learn how to craft! Which is cool. But try and use it as an opportunity to grow even closer! <3 chin up xx

(Sarah Eves) #10

Hi, Kirstie!
I feel for you - it’s a really tough time.

My son is now 22 and finished uni this summer.
For a year or so before he left we went through a hard time getting along, and it was definitely time for him to move on, but despite this when leaving day rumbled round and I got back to an empty flat I felt bereft.
I found myself missing all the things that had irritated me - the trailing leads, the dodgy music - just him really.
But skype is a wonderful thing, and then - just as you get used to them leaving and all the new space - they’re back home for the long summer with all their junk :smile:

Each year at uni it became easier to wave him off at the end of the summer, but then - in the blink of an eye - uni’s over and he’s boomeranged back on an open ended stay!
And that is extremely difficult to adjust to…

You will get used to it, but it will take time, and there be times - particularly in the first year - when you will feel particularly sad, but they do come back!

Good luck with leaving day!

Sarah x

(Kirstie Perry) #11

I’m sorry for your loss Yvette. It must be a comfort to have your daughter back at home x

(Joy Salt) #12

It’s going to be very quiet.

I had my grandchildren to stay this week, just 3 days but yesterday I was lying in bed contemplating getting up and wondering why it was so quiet. Even after such a short visit they get into the body of the house somehow and it’s really strange when they go again.
So I can imagine things will seem very strange for you for a while

But then you’ll have lots of excitement about her visits, when she just pops in unexpectedly…

(Yvette ) #13

Thank you Kirstie, yes its nice my daughter is home,she got a new job a few months ago so will be leaving home again soon,and i have two other boys at home and they don’t look like they are going anywhere soon lol

(Joy Salt) #14

Yvette I’m very sorry for your loss. Sorry also that I missed your post when I was on here yesterday so failed to say that.
Joy xxx

(Yvette ) #15

Thank you Joy x

(Astrid Huxham ) #16

Pray its only God who knows your deepest feelings and hopes he can cheer you up/ love Astrid.x

(Diane Mc Kechnie) #17

I cant imagine how you must feel. so sorry x
My daughter left home too early but she did come back to stay for a short while and although I love her to bits it was hard when she came back. My son had left too and my dog had died and my mother had alzeimers so I was feeling really low. But you do adjust and then you begin to enjoy it.