My Dad used to have lovely long chats with a chap in the Far East somewhere “helping to stop his broadband interfering with his neighbours”. Since my parents live in an isolated cottage and only had dialup it was impossible to connect to the internet while talking to the “support” person, and I doubt the sheep were complaining Somehow these people never take notes and call back the next month and go through it all again.
My landline is on TPS so I don’t get many nuisance calls there any more. But my mobile belongs to an alter ego who has had accidents, PPI, debtors and everything - I feel sorry for her.
Both me and my parents are signed up to the telephone preference service but we still get calls. I have caller display and just let the answerphone take the call if I don’t know the number.
My Dad likes ‘winding them up’ though. His best one was with a company selling kitchens. My Mum took the call while Dad was at work and said she wasn’t interested.
Can we call back when your husband is home?
No, we’re not interested
What time will he be home?
We’re not interested
We’d like to talk to him
Fine, call back but he’ll give you the same answer.
Later that evening they call back and Dad tells them he wasn’t interested.
Can we send someone round to offer you a free quote?
OK, tomorrow evening at 7pm is the only time I can offer.
Guy comes round at 7pm next evening.
Dad is looking through all the brochures and decides on a kitchen.
Bloke measures up and give a quote.
Dad continues to look through and find another kitchen.
Bloke measures up again and gives another quote.
Dad finds a third kitchen.
Again, measures and gives a quote.
Dad then asks if he can mix and match cupboards from different kitchens.
Yes he can.
Dad keeps on like this, changing his mind and getting the quotes. At half past MIDNIGHT my Dad finally says, ‘Well I need to go to bed now so you must leave. Oh, and I did tell you on the phone that we weren’t interested!’
Did anyone see Watchdog last night? There was a big one on the double glazing company cold calling via the phone and all the lies and pressuring tactics they were using.
If I want to buy something I’ll do my own contacting thank you and I’ll not engage with pushy sales people either.
I do feel for some elderly or confused people who get caught by these conmen
I quite often get the one about my Computer having a virous. I find it quite funny because almost everytime they phone I’m sat at the computer. When they start going on I just reply “I’m sorry I don’t have a computer” and put the phone down.
My OH is another one who entertains himself winding these callers up when he’s bored, he kept one of the computer ones one going for hours until they finally sussed, at which point they threatened to send ‘the geek squad’ round (apparently there are 3 of them, and a driver, for some reason that was important, that they didn’t have to drive themselves?). Unfortunately they seemed to be under the impression that we were in America… only a few thousand miles out…
Funnily enough we haven’t had any more of those calls!
Yesterday I got one pretending to be the TPS - that did annoy me.
My hubby has a bad habit of saying to the double glazing companies “Oh I didn’t realise you could fit double glazing in Caravans these days” That soon shuts them up.
another of our friends got fed up with being pressured about having a conservatory fitted and so agreed for a salesman to call…the salesman was very miffed to find that our friend lived on the top floor of a block of flats!
One thing I tried a long time ago…
Me: Sorry, I’m in the middle of something, can I have your name and phone number to call you back and we can chat?
Them: That’s ok, we can call you back.
Me: It’s not a problem at all, what is your name and your company name? I will have time later…
Them: No worries, ma’am, have a nice day!
That was quick!
See how they like it when you find their details and use them…
Last week I had one of those calls saying they believed ‘someone in this household’ has had an accident in the last 3 years.
Me… yes, my hubby was knocked over by a spaceship and his head was sliced off.
Them… who was at fault?
Me… The Aliens were at fault
Them… Did you get their details?
Me… No, the spaceship flew away before I could talk to them.
Them… I’ll just pop you through to my supervisor who will ask you a few more questions.
Supervisor… Hello, I believe we can help you with a claim?
Me… I retold the story, he laughed, apologised and said the original call was from a call centre abroad and when they get a ‘yes’ answer they transfer the call to the company in the uk.
When it’s an accident at your address type of phone call I say, “which address is that, as I have a house in Spain, a country cottage in the UK and my London address?” They put the phone down straight away.
I quite like these calls and have some fab conversations. If it’s about an accident, I have been known to tell them about the time “I was on my BMX and collided with a milk float (that I’m sure was speeding) - but it’s OK as I kept one of the broken milk bottles as evidence and gave it to my husband who is a dectective, shall I send him round to you now, he knows where you are”! The last one was about my credit card, I told him “I don’t have a credit card, I use cash. In fact I pay just with 5p coins - I like 5p coins because they are small and shiny. Do you like 5p coins?”. I don’t understand why they all put the phone down on me! x
I tell energy companies that I have no room for solar panels because of all the wind turbines on my roof. And hubs says we cannot move from British Gas because we owe them thousands of pounds.
This is giving me loads of new ideas, I reckon between us all we are giving as good as we get!
I always ask cold callers before they get a word in "Are you willing to accept the call charges of £ 5 per minute before you continue ?"
Usually a long pause and then "What ?"
They don’t continue on, but one guy actually agreed !
Or another good one is to pretend you’re hard of hearing, or the phone line is poor.
"It’s… a… bad… line… can you…re…peat…th…at…? "
Do it a few times and it drives them nuts and you can hear the frustration at their end of the line !
Mind, you, got a complete vocabulary of swear words thrust at me by one chappie, after he realised after about ten minutes that there wasn’t a problem on the line. Some words I’d never even heard before !
And those who try it on with we want to help you claim for your car accident, I always turn it around to say "You’ve had a car accident ? Oh, how sorry I am, are you OK ?
Shall I call someone ? When did this happen ? Was it the other person’s fault ?"
This continues on for a while, and I never give them the opportunity to get a word in.
They always sweat buckets with this.
I think I’ve caused a few nervous breakdowns with that, so am very sorry to the NHS for the cost of the psychiatric treatment that they had to have, as a result…
And if all else fails ask them if it’s a call centre they are speaking from. Most are, and they tend to be honest so just say “I don’t EVER speak with call centres, sorry !”
Somehow these people never take notes and call back the next month and go through it all again.
