Folksy Ltd

It just shouldn't happen!

(Paula Rayson) #1

I’ve been a teacher for almost ten years now and a form tutor for the whole time. My tutees have given me the kind of challenges and joy you’d expect and are warned of in training: ‘Miss, the condom broke’, being taken into care, self harming, being made prefects, smoking, volunteering for charity work, breaking bones, appendectomies and so on. Eighteen months ago things took a different turn when one of my gorgeous girls was diagnosed with leukaemia, we’d had a term of weird bruises, passing out, random illnesses running into it. She was straight into hospital to start chemo, and trying to explain this to 29 yr10s just starting their GCSE track, was difficult. At that age teenagers believe they are immortal, death and serious illness happens to old people. The school mentors were on hand for them, there were a few questions about will the treatment hurt and how bad could it be. As my best friend has done it twice, I told them the minimum. We did cards for her and gave them regular updates, 4 months later she was out and starting her return to school. We didn’t tell them the first day and the looks on their faces when they walked in was a joy.

5 months later the leukaemia returned, she was more upset about having caught up all the school work she has missed than being ill again. It hit them all harder this time, one of the girls decided to donate her hair to Little Princess Trust and our end of year charity day went to the fund to redecorate her ward. This time they decided to transplant and found a rare 10 point match. Chemo went well and they transplanted in November. Things were looking up and likely to be coming home by Christmas. Pneumonia hit for the holidays and they put her in a coma to treat it, then again things improved. Tuesday night the nurse called the family to come in immediately, the transplant had failed, a massive lung infection had taken hold and they weren’t sure she’d last the night. Last night the Head rang me and I knew before he said it. My gorgeous, funny, hardworking, spending her free time raising money for charities, girl had died, just weeks after her 16th birthday.

Sorry to dump on here but I’m struggling to understand why.

(Donna) #2

Oh god, I am so sorry! There are no words xx

(Sarah Lambert) #3

Paula - you are right, so terrible. My husband lost a beautiful niece of a similar age to a very similar illness. We often wonder how she would have grown up. It’s absolutely heartbreaking.

(Karen Ellam) #4

So sorry Paula to read your sad news… Life sometimes can be so cruel :cry:
It’s just awful when it happens to someone so young.

My Husbands brother passed away fighting the same dreadful illness.

Thinking of you

Karen x

(Christine Shephard) #5

That’s just heartbreaking. There is no reason, life just sucks sometimes…so sorry.

(Plumporridge) #6

That’s so sad, she should be here having the time of her young life.

It sounds like you work in a very caring school, I hope you will all be able to help each other through. Take care of yourself too, we are all here thinking of you.

Amanda xxx

(Paula Rayson) #7

Thanks everyone. The professional counseller is coming in after halfterm for me and my form. The Head has broken the news to them this afternoon. It should never happen before life has really started. Our goal for the last 9 months has been getting her well enough for the prom in June. I just couldn’t cope with work today, yes I have a fantastic Head.

(Pauline Hayward) #8

Oh this is do sad. My heart goes out to you all. Hope you all can find away forward from this tragedy.

(Annie Storkey) #9

I am so sorry :cry: I am a nurse and have seen similar cases and it is heartbreaking.

(Rachel) #10

Your right it seems so unfair for life to be taken away by such a cruel illness, and especially from a young, clever and charitable girl - it must be so hard for you to deal with. I am glad you have the support of the Head and you will all provide support for one another.

(Jan Ryan) #11

Such sad news, it is going to be a hard road to travel, it seems so unfair.
It sounds like the pupils will band together and support each other, the emotions of teenagers run high and it will be something that stays with them always. There is never a reason for something like this to happen, I don’t think any of us will ever understand why.
Virtual hugs to the family and everyone involved. Take care x x

(Helen Healey) #12

This is such sad news. I’m so very sorry.

(Jacqueline Ostrowka) #13

So sorry for your bad news, she sounds like a brave and beautiful girl who will surely be missed x

(Liz Clark) #14

She sounds like such a brave girl, I’m so sorry to read that she lost her fight for life. There are no reasons why, life can be cruel, but also wonderful at times. I know when I lost my sister 4yrs ago to cancer that I was very angry that she had been taken away from us, when she still had so much to look forward to in life. I struggled to make sense of it and I will always feel her loss.

I hope given time you’ll all be able to put the anger and hurt to one side about the unjustness of it all, and remember her for who she was, and how much she influenced your lives for the better. I’m glad the school are able to support you all at this time. xx

(Danielle Hall Nicola Malia) #15

As a teacher and form tutor I completely empathise with you here. You’re not just feeling your own shock and loss you’re also feeling your 29 other students pain. One of my childhood friends passed away as a result of this vile disease when we were just 16 and it rocked our foundations.

It sounds like you have an amazing bunch with all that they have done to contribute to charity, maybe continuing this will help with their grief?

My thoughts are with you and your tutor group xxx

1 Like
(Susan Bonnar) #16

Oh my gosh - how terribly sad.

Thinking of you all - with a Son the same age I cannot imagine how horrendous this is, xx

(LucyWithDiamonds) #17

I’m so sorry that you and your pupils are going through this, no words can ease the pain but hopefully sharing will help you cope a bit. Your lovely students will carry her with them in whatever they do, maybe when it isn’t so new you could do some fundraising as something to focus on. Thinking of you xx

(Joy Salt) #18

Paula So very sorry to hear your story. That is so very sad.
I had neighbours who lost their youngest son aged just 17, died driving after just passing his test. I will never forget standing at the graveside with them arms round each other and the two older children.
Children shoudln’t die but unfortunately they do.

PS I should have a sister-in-law but my husband’s only sibling died aged just 5 of the same, leukemia.

(Diane Burton) #19

So so sad, hope you have chance to let out your sadness/anger/shock over the half term break before facing those poor teenagers xx I have a son just a couple of years younger and have no idea what I would do or say to him if it was one of his friends.

(JewelleryhandcraftedbyPauline) #20

I am so sorry to hear this sad news, very upsetting. Life can be so cruel. Thinking of you and your students.